Should I stay or should I go?

Will this administration drive me out of my country?

March 10, 2025

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

It’s been six weeks since my last blog post. No time to write it. I have whiplash from the chaos in this country and the world. I’ve thrown myself even more into political activism, sometimes at the expense of self-care. Numerous Zoom meetings each week. Live protests at the home offices of our PA senators. Feverishly writing letters to the editor. Posting news and motivational pieces on my Facebook page. Arguing with family, friends, and neighbors about the urgency of our political situation; trying to persuade them to become loud and active, too.

As a lifelong reader, researcher, and writer, I feel compelled to be as well informed as possible. That’s a daunting prospect, since I receive at least 200 political emails each day. I can’t possibly read them all. I almost feel gleeful when I delete, delete, delete.

Ezra Levin is the co-founder (with his wife, Leah Greenberg) of Indivisible, the national and local progressive organization I volunteer with. At their weekly online meetings — which now attract several thousand viewers — he reiterates that we don’t get points for how much information we take in and absorb; rather, learning is a precursor to action. And Ezra and Leah have no shortage of ideas for how to combat 47 and his gang.

However, there are days when the onslaught of nightmarish edicts is like a tidal wave. It’s difficult to remain optimistic and believe that We the People can successfully push back against the shocking intrusion on our rights and our personal data.

In addition, it’s challenging to control my emotions. I’m enraged that our 250-year old democracy can be dismantled in six weeks. I’m furious at the people who voted for Trump, even after experiencing the chaos and horror of his first term. I’m stunned that those voters could be so focused on the price of eggs and the hatred they feel for liberals (and all “othered” groups), that they were willing to sell their souls to the devil.

And I’m angriest at the oligarchs who have been planning to take over our country, deprive the people of the services we need, and line their own pockets with more silver. Seeing the group of smug plutocrats on the Inaugural stage was enough to cause the mildest-mannered peace lover to snarl.

The level of disgust and fury I feel is matched by many of those around me. Yet, a number of people I know simply aren’t willing to speak up at all. I find it impossible to believe that you can be worried, anxious, scared to death; yet still reticent to take action.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

As I frequently tell those people: “No one gets to sit on the sidelines this time.” And it is truly heartening to watch Rachel Maddow of MSNBC show videos from around the country, of people who are protesting every day. Whether it’s Tesla, the NIH, the OMB, the Justice Department, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, Head Start, or numerous other programs and offices that are being decimated, there are folks from urban, suburban, and rural areas out in the streets, in droves.

Their methods are cunning and creative. It was thrilling to see Vermonters lined up along the road that Vice President Vance and his family drove to reach their ski resort. They were greeted with hordes of people with signs, both coming into Vermont and leaving.

Even in the reddest states, such as Utah and Idaho, people are “mad as hell and not going to take it anymore,” like the famous line in the film, “Network.”

Plummeting poll numbers for Trump and his policies are also heartening. However, the realization that he doesn’t seem to care about them, and even has dismissed a crashing stock market, indicate that it is difficult to scare him. Yet, he has a ping-pong method of announcing and instigating new cuts — enforcing them, only to rescind them a day or two later. Sometimes, his own advisors warn him that he’s gone too far. And that’s saying something, since he destroyed most of the guardrails that kept him partially in check last time.

He has a dark end game in mind, along with his wealthy friends. We’re beginning to see it unfold.

It’s horrifying to watch the Republican members of Congress licking Trump’s boots and acquiescing to the most dangerous actions and policies. They have received so much pushback from their constituents that they’ve been advised to no longer hold town halls — if they were even holding them at all.

However, since members of the House and the Senate want to be reelected more than anything else, when their constituents scream, they become frightened and put pressure on Trump to stop cutting funds from critical healthcare and social programs.

Meanwhile, the Democratic members of the Senate and Congress were mostly silent and lying back, reluctant to do anything too drastic. However, their constituents have dragged them into the fray, kicking and screaming, and they are beginning to do the job they were elected to do.

My level of confidence in our country ever coming back from this debacle ebbs and flows, depending on the day’s occurrences. It’s terrifying to hear pundits saying that we are already in an autocracy, and well on our way to a dictatorship. If Trump and his gang have their way, fascism will replace democracy.

Photo by Vic Alcuaz on Unsplash

On the other hand, the federal courts are actively deciding against Trump (although he may not follow their decisions). Attorney General Peter Neronha of Rhode Island is co-leading 22 states and the District of Columbia in suing to stop the Trump Administration from withholding essential federal funding. Protecting the Constitution and the rule of law is how we save our democracy.

Timothy Snyder, an historian and professor of history at Yale University, specializing in the history of Central and Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union, and the Holocaust, has written several books on the subject of authoritarianism. In 2017, he published, “On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century.” In it, he identified conditions that can enable established democracies to transform into dictatorships, along with directives on how to avoid this.

The first one was: “Do not obey in advance.” That is exactly what the Republicans in Congress and the well-heeled business moguls stepped up to do when Trump was elected. Being in his favor not only means donating disgusting sums of money to him, but also going along with everything he decrees — and sacrificing any values you may have.

Now that Trump openly sings the praises of Putin and Russia, and has voted against the US and our allies in NATO, the guise of being a patriotic American has completely fallen away. His treasonous actions now accompany his cruelty.

As a Jew and a student of history, I am petrified at the parallels between Nazi Germany in the late 1930s and what’s going on here. Many German Jews scoffed at the notion that Hitler would harm them, take away their rights, or make it impossible for them to leave Germany.

Photo by Barth Bailey on Unsplash

So, the question: Should I stay or should I go? (Taken from the old song by The Clash.) It’s not a frivolous one. I am furious that Trump and his henchmen could force me — and others like me — to give up the country we love and have always lived in — in order to survive.

Yet, I don’t want to find myself trapped here, at a time when it may become even more dangerous and I lose my choices.

This September, I turn 75 years old. It’s a daunting prospect to move abroad at this age, as a single woman with some health issues, to another country where I may only know one or two people. It would mean giving up everyone in my life, and everything I’ve worked for. Like the stock market, I abhor uncertainty and limbo. And that is the position I feel I am in right now. I’ve gone so far as to explore two possible countries to move to: Portugal and Mexico (a specific town there). After an initial flurry of research, I instinctively felt I needed to pull back and not make a decision yet.

There is a part of me that wants to take preventive measures. The other part of me doesn’t want to go down without a fight. I am a committed warrior in this battle, and I want to make good trouble — and fulfill the promise of the Statue of Liberty. I also don’t like making decisions based on fear. But this situation we find ourselves in begs a radical solution.

How do you feel about this?